World championship orange-passer Tommy Mallen today spoke of the shame he feels in relation to how terrible his committee were at passing the orange.

Despite changing start points multiple times, the committee could only manage at most two passes in the one go. When DEVE 1 were interrogated by Mr Mallen with regard to the source of their terribleness, everyone immediately pointed the finger at the tallest member of the committee – Joe (who likes jumping).

The triple-gold-medallist pointed out that height was irrelevant, as he could easily pass the orange to his petit co-chair Fania. Peter was quick to attribute this skill to Tommy’s freakishly large chin, implying that it gave him an unfair advantage in the sport when he said: “…it’s because his chin is so big.”

Speaking about the accusation after the confrontation, Mr Mallen did not deny that the size of his chin definitely contributed to his orange passing skills.

“Not everyone gets the whole chin thing, I’ll admit that. But it has helped me pursue the thing I love – orange-passing. It has allowed me to covet orange-passing skills far beyond that of the average orange-passer, and for that I am grateful.”